To Singulair or Not To Singulair, That is the Question

Singulair is a tricky drug. Medicating your child is never an easy decision. Choosing a medication with suspected side-effects is an even harder decision. But when Logan was so sick in December and January we decided to try Singulair again.

As soon as he started to take it, you could see it was helping control his allergies. You could see the positive results. Look, we're helping him! Go us! Pollaks-1, Allergies-0. Woo-hoo!

Then the nightmares start again. Slowly. One nightmare every two weeks, one nightmare every week, 2 nightmares a week, the frequency rises. Logan starts to feel afraid to go to sleep, afraid he'll have a bad dream.

Unacceptable! We take him off Singulair again, right before Spring. No more nightmares, but the allergy control is removed. Spring arrives with terrible environmental allergies. He coughs, he sneezes, he wears visible shiners red and black. He wakes up coughing and in a trance depending on the morning and can't stop coughing without a dose of Zyrtec. We turn once again to an allergy medication.

We're desperate. We want to "fix" him. We want to help him feel better, help him live life to his full potential. We try and try and never know if we're getting it right. It's not easy, but we know it could be worse. We know he's OK, not so sick we can't keep him at home. He's not in the hospital. He goes to school (although he has missed 14 days if I'm counting correctly), he plays with friends, he gets to Karate (most of the time) and he's smart, funny, creative, and really good-looking (I may be biased).

I look forward to summer, putting the days of pollen behind us and possibly moving to the desert someday. Colorado Springs looks just lovely :)

Learned Helplessness

January has been tough around here. Really tough. We rang in the New Year with bronchitis and an ear infection. Two weeks later we still had wheezing and a suspected sinus infection. Over three weeks later and we are trying to eliminate terrible nose congestion. After my hands felt the rattling in his chest after an emotional outburst this morning, we will visit the pediatrician on Friday to rule out walking pneumonia as advised by the pulmonogist's nurse.

The most frustrating and worrisome part of having such a severely allergic son is feeling helpless. I hate giving him meds. I hate running him to doctors. I hate how sick he's been and how much school and karate he's missed. I hate how thin he looks again. I don't know how to "fix" him.

I wish I knew what was right. I feel so ambivalent about giving him medicine. All the doctors tell me not to stop the medicine. That's a big mistake. Don't stop if he "seems" better. But how do I know the medicine won't hurt him? How do I know the consequences of giving him medicine won't appear years from now? I don't. I have to trust his doctors because I am not a doctor. It's like trusting your mechanic when you bring in your car, but there's so much more to lose when they're fixing your son.

I try to remember I feel like this every winter. That he's sick every winter and we feel like we're hibernating and then things get better in the Spring. Except for the pollen. Damn pollen.